Funny Birthdays Cards, Birthday Invitations, Party Invitations

Funny Sayings

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Dale Carnegie

There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.
- Jim Morrison

Habit is a form of exercise.
- Elbert Hubbard

Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
- Joey Adams

Let's have some new cliches.
- Samuel Goldwyn

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
- Josh Billings

[I work until] beer o’clock.
- Stephen King On his 9 to 5 writing day, Time: 6 Oct 86

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy - and I keep it in a jar on my desk.
- Stephen King

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
- Somerset Maugham

The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.
- John Steinbeck

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.
- Somerset Maugham

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
- Steve Martin

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
- Steven Wright

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
- W.C. Fields

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
- Josh Billings

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
- Jimi Hendrix

A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
- Unknown

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
- Mae West

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
- Marty Feldman

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.
- G. K. Chesterton

Dirty/funny birthday cards are cool
- Some random dude

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
- Bertolt Brecht

We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.
- Stephen King fromHearts in Atlantis.

Laughter is higher than all pain.
- Elbert Hubbard

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
- Victor Borge

Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
- W.C. Fields

A day without laughter is a day wasted.
- Charlie Chaplin

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers

He who laughs, lasts.
- Mary Pettibone Poole
More Funny Sayings...

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.
- Bob Monkhouse

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
- Johnny Carson Mark Twain: Motivational Funny Sayings If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

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